Is this the way love is supposed to feel? • Does the man you love assume the right to control how you live and behave? • Have you given up important activities or people to keep him happy? • Is he extremely jealous and possessive? • Does he switch from charm to anger without warning? • Does he belittle your opinions, your feelings, or your accomplishments? • Does he withdraw love, money, approval, or sex to punish you? • Does he blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship? • Do you find yourself “walking on eggs” and apologizing all the time? If the questions here reveal a familiar pattern, you may be in love with a misogynist — a man who loves you, yet causes you tremendous pain because he acts as if he hates you. In this superb self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the voices of men and women trapped in these negative relationships to help you understand your man’s destructive pattern and the part you play in it. She shows how to break the pattern, heal the hurt, regain your self-respect, and either rebuild your relationship or find the courage to love a truly loving man. “Very important and much needed ... This how-to book could be a lifesaver.” — Abigail Van Buren, “Dear Abby” “A must read for any woman who has ever been in a destructive relationship.” — Sonya Friedman, Ph.D., author of On a Clear Day You Can See Yourself “Required reading for women who are in relationships with angry, intimidating, and controlling men.” — Howard Halpern, Ph.D., author of How to Break Your Addiction to a Person Bantam Books by Susan Forward: Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them: When Loving Hurts and You Don’t Know Why Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life Does the man you love assume the right to control how you live and behave? Have you given up important activities or people to keep him happy? Is he extremely jealous and possessive? Does he switch from charm to anger without warning? Does he belittle your opinions, your feelings, or your accomplishments? Does he withdraw love, money, approval, or sex to punish you? Does he blame you for everything that goes wrong in the relationship? Do you find yourself "walking on eggshells" and apologizing all the time? If the questions here reveal a familiar pattern, you may be in love with a misogynist -- a man who loves you, yet causes you tremendous pain because he acts as if he hates you. In this superb self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward draws on case histories and the voices of men ad women trapped in these relationships to help you understand you man's destructive pattern, the part you play in it, how to break the pattern, heal the hurt, regain your self-respect, and either rebuild your relationship or find the courage to love a truly loving man. Susan Forward, PhD, was an internationally renowned therapist, lecturer, and author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers Toxic Parents and Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them , as well as Betrayal of Innocence: Incest and Its Devastation, Money Demons, Emotional Blackmail, When Your Lover Is a Liar, and Toxic In-Laws. In addition to her private practice, for five years she hosted a daily ABC talk-radio program. She has also served widely as a group therapist, instructor, and consultant in many Southern California medical and psychiatric facilities, and she formed the first private sexual abuse treatment center in California. She passed away in 2020. Joan Torres is an award-winning freelance writer with extensive movie and television credits. Chapter 1 The Most Romantic Man in the World It’s the Rodgers and Hammerstein way to fall in love. You see him across a crowded room, your eyes meet, and that certain thrill surges through you. Your palms grow damp when he stands near you; your heart beats faster; everything in your body seems to be more alive. This is the dream of happiness, sexual fulfillment, and completion. This man will appreciate and be responsive to you. Just being near him is exciting and wonderful. When it happens it’s overpowering. We’ve come to call it romantic love. Rosalind was 45 when she met Jim. She is a striking woman, tall, with auburn hair and a trim figure, which she works hard to keep in shape. She has a distinctive style of dressing that shows off her height and her artistic flair. She owns an antique shop and is a successful dealer, collector, and appraiser of advertising art, which is her specialty. Rosalind was married twice before and has a grown son. She was excited about meeting Jim because she’d heard so much about him from her friends. They took her to hear him play with a local jazz group. Afterward, when the four of them went out for a drink, Rosalind felt very drawn to Jim, who was tall, dark, and extremely good-looking. Jim and I were very attracted to each other. We talked about kids and music. H
